I want to die

i want to die. Hi mom, I’m calling to say I want to die right now. I’m tired of having to live feeling so suppressed and confined and shitTY I cannot and will not ever know how other people can deal with this kind of pressure. i do not know what I’m doing with my life I feel like a failure I’m scared as fucking shit because I’m scared I won’t be good enough to make it in the fashion industry and I will be scrapping along at shitty retail jobs and having to come home on thanksgiving and having the pressure of living up to my parents and relatives and feeling like I am not as worthy as them. I’m scared of being average I’m scared of having no money. I have no money right now and I don’t know why because I can’t find a job or have really attempted to because my brain is not working right I can’t function because I feel like I am not as much as a person as other people I can never validate myself I  want to run away and die I want to know more and establish myself as having an interesting life but I SUCK AT EVERYTHING BECAUSE I AM DEPRESSED AND HAVE A DEPRESSIVE MINDSET I CANNOT GET MYSELF OUT OF TO ACCOMPLISH THINGS THAT WILL GET ME OUT OF IT SO THEREFORE I AM FOREVER STUCK I DGJKSDHGRUHGSKJGHDJSKGHNDVIEUYTUEGHJKSDHGKAJLGH WHAT AM I

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